Noble Objection: Top 10 Ways to Say NO | Video

How can you make saying “NO” into a positive thing that can give you more time, less stress, and a sense of control over your life? The answer is to transform it from a short word into a two-letter acronym: N.O. – standing for Noble Objection.

At the heart of my best-selling book, The Yes/No Book is the “Noble Objection”.

📔 The Yes/No Book: How to do less… and achieve more

The Noble Objection is an empowering alternative to saying “no”. No is a negative. It declines, it refuses, it denies. Consequently, many of us find it hard to say “no”. And many also find it a hard word to accept.

So, instead, why not be positive? Instead of saying “no”, make a Noble Objection (NO). You make a Noble Objection when you say “NO” for a positive, noble reason.

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Noble means well-intentioned

Saying “no” capriciously, mendaciously or just because you don’t want to is far from noble. But, when you say “NO” because your other priorities outweigh this one, because you are not just a doormat, and because you have thought through the consequences, then you are doing the right thing.

Noble means respectful

How you say “NO” is important. Show respect if you want to retain respect. Be courteous, because that’s what noble people do. Your “NO” may be the right thing for you, but it may inconvenience me, so don’t make me feel worse than you need to.

Noble does not need to apologize

Making the right choices and doing so respectfully is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. You do not need to say sorry for doing the right thing. 

… but a Noble Objection may empathize with others

On the other hand, you may know how much inconvenience your “NO” may cause, and it will help me to accept the “NO” if you show that you understand that, and care. Sometimes, of course, you may value the relationship above the time commitment, and choose to say “YES”. If you do so, say “YES” with all your heart: nothing is worse than a grudging and puny “yes”.

… and a Noble Objection may give reasons

You don’t need to apologize for your “NO” but you may want to help me understand why you said it. In the science of influence, we learn that the word “because” has great power.

… and a Noble Objection may suggest alternatives

You may not have time to say “YES”, but it only takes a moment to be helpful and suggest alternatives. Who else could I ask? Where can I find useful information, resources, or tools? What could I try?

Noble is brief, but not curt

Don’t make a big deal of your Noble Objection – it will sound like you have doubts and open you up to attempts at manipulation or emotional blackmail. But that doesn’t mean you have to be curt and dismissive. Look me in the eye, stop what you are doing, listen to my request, and make your Noble Objection. 

Noble is courteous but firm

While staying courteous, firmly resist any attempts to persuade you otherwise, by repeating, patiently, your “NO”.

A Noble Objection is open to persuasion

When you make a Noble Objection, you must remain open to new information that could change your assessment. If my attempt to persuade you otherwise gives you a new perspective, you must assess it. “NO” is only noble when the reasoning is sound: new information demands new reasoning – otherwise, you risk creating a didactic “no” that comes from arrogance.

Above all, a Noble Objection is honest

… about the real reason for the “NO”. Don’t pretend there are bigger reasons than there are, nor blame it on other people. Taking responsibility for your “NO” is the only respectful route.

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