How to Understand the Stages of Conflict | Video

In an earlier video, we looked at the Sources of Conflict. In this video, we will focus on the stages of conflict.

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The sources of conflict were many and complex.

They often boil down to:

• Needs
  Need drives us to satisfy need. We are prepared to do what it takes Conflict arises when getting what we need takes something away from others
• Rights
  We also get into conflict to protect perceived rights. Conflict arises when this impinges on others’ rights
• Fears
  Fear is the strongest emotion Conflict arises when fear drives us to try to take something away from or impinge on the rights of others
• Respect
  Respect is a vital social glue that holds together our self-confidence and our relationships. Conflict arises when we do not show equal respect for ourselves and others.

The Stages of Conflict

We can describe the stages of conflict with the ‘conflict boomerang’. One side of the conflict boomerang:

• Accord
• Irritation
• Resistance
• Anger
• Abuse
• …violence

The Signs of Rising Tension

• Posture
  • Lean away to ease discomfort
  • Or lean in for conflict
• Gesture
  • Face touching and eye blocking/rubbing = disagreement or disbelief
  • Furrowed brow – stress. Touching it indicates struggling with idea
  • Neck touching – collar or necklace
  • Hand rubbing, wrist wringing
  • Body hug and palm cleansing/thigh stroking – anxiety

De-Escalation Process: Seven Stages of Conflict De-escalation

Demonstrate Respect

1. Make the choice to engage positively

2. Make contact Build

Rapport

3. Appreciate the courage the other person is showing Demonstrate empathy and show you understand their position

4. Understand each other’s points of view Share facts, feelings, perspectives, concerns and definitions to build rapport

Collaborate

5. Agree criteria for a resolution what are your respective absolute requirements and desired outcomes?

Explore

6. Explore options and possible solutions

Resolution

7. Offer a resolution Come to a decision and agree next steps

Dealing with Conflict in Projects

We have a full video program: ‘Dealing with Conflict in Projects’. Learn more about the course and get a 30% discount off the standard $47 price.

Recommended Videos

Carefully curated video recommendations for you:

• What are Conflict and Conflict Management?
• How to Understand the Sources of Conflict
• Conflict in Project Management: It’s Your Fault

And do take a look at our detailed arctics;

• Managing Conflict: Everything a Project Manager Needs to Know
• Conflict Management: Ways to Get it Right | Part 2

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