Managing difficult team members can be a significant challenge for project professionals. I’ve encountered many tricky situations over the years. It’s crucial to handle them with respect, kindness, and a clear focus on outcomes. Happily, there are strategies that will help you to do just that.
In this article, I will identify my top ten types of difficult behavior. I’ll describe each one, and then offer my favorite strategies for dealing with it. I’ll end with a summary of some of the core strategies, tactics, and tips that keep coming up.
Before We Start… This is IMPORTANT
I learned this early on. If you want to be successful in managing difficult behaviors at work, in your team, or in your wider life, there’s something very important to remember.
‘There are no difficult people: just difficult behaviors.’
Is this strictly true?
Do I really believe this? It doesn’t matter. If you act as if the person is a difficult person, you will fail. If, however, you act as though this is an ordinary person who is behaving badly at the moment, you set yourself up to succeed.
Treat everyone with respect.
It’s okay to not respect the bad behavior, but always maintain your respect for the team member who is showing it.
Capiche?
The Ten Types of Difficult Team Member Behavior
Here are the ten types of difficult behavior I’ll look at. You will see that I have grouped these behaviors into five main behaviors, and specific variants underneath them.
- Negative Attitudes and Constant Complaints
- Resistant-to-Change Team Member (which is a specific way of showing a negative attitude)
- The Under-performer
- A Slacker (which is a specific type of under-performer)
- An Uncooperative Team Member
- A Passive-Aggressive Colleague (which is a specific form of uncooperative behavior)
- The Dominating Personality – that Dominates the Team
- A Know-it-all (who has a particular way of dominating, along with the Constant Credit-taker)
- The Team Gossip
- The Disengaged (and often Silent) Team Member (who may be the opposite of the gossip, or an example of a Passive-Aggressive Colleague)
Then, we will look at:
Negative Attitudes and Constant Complaints
This is a team member who is constantly complaining about the team, the project, or the organization. Their negative attitude can be contagious if you don’t check it. It can bring down team morale, performance, and productivity.
Dealing with Negative Attitudes
My strategy for this has four components:
1 Empathy
Listen carefully to their concerns, to understand their complaints. Endorse their feelings and concerns, to show you care about them. However, encourage them to express issues constructively and look for the root causes that can lead to solutions.
2 Solution-focus
Encourage them to propose solutions to the problems they raise. This shifts their mindset from complaining to problem-solving.
3 Praise the Positive
Lead by example. Demonstrate a positive mindset and resilience to setbacks. Team members often reflect the tone you set as their leader. Recognize and praise the positive behaviors in the team. This is positive reinforcement. When you recognize and praise positive contributions, it not only balances out the negativity, it encourages the behaviors you highlight.
4 Deal with the Negative
However, you may also need to set boundaries on negative talk and actively redirect conversations to be more constructive. Clearly communicate that while you appreciate feedback, constant negativity can be detrimental to the team’s morale. If negativity continues despite your reminders, you must avoid it impacting the entire team. Have a private conversation to stress the need for professional behavior.
Resistant-to-Change Team Member
A particular form of negative attitude is shown by a team member who actively refuses to embrace – or even engage with – change. They reject new ideas, methods, tools, or processes. This creates obstacles to innovation, adaptation, and productivity.
Dealing with Resistance to Change
The first point to make is that this is a topic that I have studied extensively. I have a book on the subject, The Handling Resistance Pocketbook, and we have a full video on the subject:
You may also like I Don’t Like You – Trust and How to Deal with the Toughest Form of Resistance.
My strategy for this has five components:
1 Get them Involved
Once you know who the ‘usual suspects’ are, you can deliberately involve them early. Engage them in the decision-making process, so they can feel heard and valued. And, more important, they now have a stake in making the new ideas work.
2 Communicate the ‘Why?’
‘Why?’ is the question we all ask, and we will never be fully motivated without a good, juicy, ‘because…’ Help them understand the reasons why the change is necessary and the benefits it brings to the project and the organization.
3 Address their Concerns
Encourage them to articulate their specific concerns and fears. Talk each one through, accepting it as reasonable, and dealing with it fully before moving on. If there are concerns that turn out to be well-founded, admit this openly. Discuss with them the best way to deal with it and thank them for raising the issue.
4 Be Reassuring
Resistance often stems from a fear of failure or a fear of the unknown. Reassure them that they will get support during the transition – and provide it! Where you can, consider pilots, prototypes, and trial periods.
5 Let results speak for themselves
The merit of a pilot or trial is that it can demonstrate viability. If it does not, then you have still won – by learning something important in a safe way. Celebrate all progress, to build positive momentum. And, of course, recognize and praise the efforts of resisters, when they do adapt and succeed.
The Under-performer
An under-performer fails to work to their own potential. They produce substandard work, which has an adverse impact on the team’s output. This can be a reduction in productivity, missing milestones, or compromising quality.
Dealing with Under-performance
My strategy for this has four components:
1 Identify the Causes
Start with a private, candid conversation to understand any underlying issues. Maybe it’s a skills gap, personal issues, or a lack of motivation. You will want to tailor your approach to the issues that are causing the under-performance.
2 Agree Performance Goals
Be specific about what improvement looks like and help them to create a performance improvement plan. This needs to include goals, expectations, and milestones.
3 Provide Support
It is unlikely that they will be able to make all the changes alone. So, offer support or training opportunities to help them improve their skills. This might include coaching or mentoring from you or another colleague.
4. Follow up
Schedule regular check-ins to monitor their progress, offer feedback, and celebrate successes. Use the meetings to adjust the plan as needed.
A Slacker
Slacking is a specific type of under-performance. The slacker fails to complete tasks, shows little or no effort, and avoids taking on responsibilities.
Dealing with Slacking
My strategy for this is very similar to that for under-performance. But here, you have good evidence that the underperformance is, in some way, deliberate. Therefore, I would highlight the need for:
Clear Expectations
Document their performance issues and have a formal conversation about their need to address the behavior. Set clear performance expectations and deadlines.
Formal Performance Improvement Plans
If necessary, create and impose a formal performance improvement plan, against which you can monitor their performance. Clearly, within this, you might identify and address any underlying issues, such as lack of skills or resources.
Monitoring
Offer support and resources if they are genuinely struggling to meet expectations. Meet with them frequently to review performance and offer feedback. If they continue to underperform, be clear about the consequences of their actions.
An Uncooperative Team Member
Sometimes, this can be a form of under-performance. But, often, you’ll have a team member who thinks they can work better on their own. And there is nothing objectively wrong with their individual work. But this person refuses to collaborate with the rest of your team. This means that it’s the team’s work that suffers.
Dealing with an Uncooperative Colleague
My strategy for this is once again similar to that for under-performance. But here, you need to focus on the lack of collaborative behavior. Therefore, I would highlight the need for:
Explaining the Impact
Meet this person one-on-one to discuss how their specific behavior impacts the team. Be factual, not accusatory, and ask how they can help.
Set expectations
On a project, collaboration is the norm, and it is reasonable for you to expect it.: Reiterate the team’s goals, roles, and responsibilities, to ensure that this team member understands what you expect of them. If they have particular problems, ask how you can help. Sometimes there may be underlying issues, such as workload or conflicts, that you can help them to deal with. But, do hold them accountable. Set objectives, with deadlines, and follow up regularly.
A Passive-Aggressive Colleague
I see passive-aggressive behavior as a specific form of uncooperative behavior, which I discussed above. It manifests as a team member avoiding direct confrontation but expressing disagreement or dissatisfaction through indirect methods like sabotage, gossip, sarcasm, or missed deadlines. They are also likely to avoid responsibility for anything, instead of blaming someone else.
Dealing with a Passive-Aggressive Colleague
My strategy for this is once again similar to that for under-performance in general, and uncooperative team members in particular. But here, you need to focus on the destructive nature of their behavior. Therefore, I would highlight the need for:
Open Communication:
Avoid escalating the situation by sharing your concerns privately. But do so very directly. Do not give them any scope to misunderstand you. Set clear expectations for their behavior, emphasizing the importance of open and honest communication.
Escalation
Be prepared to document their behavior, in case this is a character trait they are unwilling to work on, and change.
The Dominating Personality – that Dominates the Team
If one team member dominates discussions, does not listen to other people, and pushes their ideas on the team, this can not only damage morale, but can lose you access to many of the best ideas. In addition, a team member who tends to take over meetings or projects will threaten your ability to lead effectively.
Dealing with a Dominator
My strategy for this has three components:
1 Active Facilitation
You need to facilitate conversations, to set the standards for fully inclusive participation. During meetings, directly invite quieter team members to share their thoughts, to ensure everyone has an opportunity to contribute. Use structured meeting formats, with ground rules if necessary, and consider assigning roles in the meetings. Encourage everyone to listen and speak only when it is their turn.
2 Speak with them Directly
Use a one-on-one discussion to offer constructive feedback about how their dominating behavior impacts the team. Suggest how you want them to improve their behavior. Use this as an opportunity to assert yourself. Remember that you have the right (and the responsibility to lead. Just because they have a more dominant personality, this does not mean they have the right to overrule your leadership.
3 Give Feedback
Observe their behavior and periodically feed back to them your assessment. Praise positive changes and, if there is not enough progress, make this clear.
A Know-it-all
This is someone who has a particular way of dominating, along with a specific form of know-it-all, the Constant Credit-taker. They tend to be overly confident of their own ideas and dismissive of others’. Consequently, they try to dominate conversations, by interrupting, talking over others, and diminishing other people’s ideas.
Dealing with a Know-it-all
My strategy for this is similar to that for any other dominator. But here, you need to focus on the arrogance. Therefore, I would highlight the need for:
Respect
Set a clear expectation for respectful communication, active listening, and collaboration. Ask them to properly evaluate other ideas before responding. Suggest the use of ‘yes, and…’ instead of ‘yes, but…’ or ‘no, but…’. If necessary, be prepared to set and impose guidelines on their participation in team discussions.
Opportunities
Give them opportunities for them to share their expertise. And then, encourage others to contribute – and even offer their own critique. Reward good ideas with praise and, more important, also reward constructive behavior.
The Credit-taker
Another example of the dominant personality that seems to know it all is the team member who consistently takes credit for other people’s work or ideas. This can be very frustrating for other team members, and so can hit morale and stifle willingness to contribute.
As before, I’d clearly want to have a private conversation about the importance of giving credit where it’s due. But I’d also publicly encourage the team to practice giving credit to others.
Here, I would promote a culture of recognition, where team efforts are acknowledged. I would directly ask other team members for their contributions at meetings, and acknowledge them explicitly. In extremis, I’d write each idea on a board, with the initials of the contributor. If I witness credit-taking, I would deliberately redirect praise to the rightful contributor.
However, what you really want is a culture of collective achievement and team recognition. Describe this to the team, personally role-model the behaviors you want, and praise people who do likewise.
The Team Gossip
We all know the team member who gossips and spreads rumors. Idle, relationship-building conversation is a good thing. Rumor-mongering can damage team morale and productivity. This is especially so, if the gossip shares confidential information, or engages in negative conversations about colleagues.
Dealing with a Gossip
My strategy for this has two components:
1 One-on-one Conversation
Address the behavior privately with your colleague, explaining how their behavior is affecting or could affect the team.
2 Team Responsibility
If you have not already done so, establish and communicate clear policies for your team about professional communication and confidentiality in the workplace. Model professional behavior and don’t engage in gossip or rumor-sharing, yourself. Consider setting up a team-building activity to foster a sense of community and trust, at a team meeting. Monitor the situation and reinforce the action, if the behavior continues.
The Disengaged (and often Silent) Team Member
There are many reasons why a team member may not actively participate in discussions or may seem disengaged from the team’s goals and efforts. Some of them, while a cause for concern, do not represent difficult behavior, but a challenge in the team member’s private life or mental state.
But, this could be a form of dysfunctional behavior and may be a form of passive-aggressive behavior.
Dealing with a Disengaged Colleague
My strategy for this must therefore begin gently, establishing the cause of their disengagement.
1 One-on-one Conversation
Privately inquire if they are facing any personal or professional challenges that might be impacting their engagement. If they are, you will need to respond with kindness. It is often helpful to offer time off work.
However, people sometimes prefer to keep working in times of personal troubles. If so, respect that and be prepared to make reasonable accommodations.
2 Accommodate their Needs
Assign them meaningful tasks that fit with where their head is at. Ensure the tasks align with their strengths, interests, and capacity to focus, to reignite their motivation. In meetings, encourage their input, so they know their opinions are valued. But do not compel it, of they prefer to stay withdrawn. Offer them mentorship – from yourself or a trusted team member.
3 Treat Deliberate Withdrawal as Uncooperative Behavior
I described this behavior, and the strategies you can apply, above. Look at the sections on an Uncooperative Team Member and a Passive-Aggressive Colleague.
Core Strategies, Tactics, and Tips
One thing above all: remain calm and professional. As a leader, you need to keep your emotions in check when dealing with difficult behaviors. Focus on understanding the situation and finding solutions.
Address issues early. Leaving them will rarely help you and may make things worse. But, address them privately and focus on behaviors rather than personality.
You also have a responsibility to your organization, so if a pattern of problematic behavior continues, document what happens and any improvement plans for future reference, especially if escalation to higher management or Human Resources becomes necessary.
Common themes in many of the strategies I described above are:
Communication
Schedule regular one-on-one conversations to discuss issues and progress. Ask questions and listen carefully to your colleague. Highlight success stories from your experience of other situations where people turned around their behavior at work.
Expectations
Have a candid conversation about the impact of the behavior on the team. Focus on finding solutions together, and encourage them to propose positive changes. Work with them to set and agree on reasonable expectations and a timetable for change. Use performance reviews to discuss progress and next steps. Offer specific, actionable feedback rather than vague criticism.
Recognition
Recognize and reward the behaviors you want to see. In particular, when a difficult team member makes an effort to improve, acknowledge their progress. Positive reinforcement can help maintain the change in behavior.
If All Else Fails…
If you run out of ideas, look to your own mentors or senior managers. Or, get some support from an HR specialist. But, remember: you have a responsibility to your whole team, your project, and your organization. Sometimes, you will not be able to fix a problem, despite your best efforts. In this case, termination may be the only solution, if the behavior doesn’t improve.
Summing-up
These strategies will help you manage difficult team members and foster a more cohesive and productive team environment.
But, remember, every team member is a unique person. What works for one may not work for another. So, you must approach each situation with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to adapt your strategies as needed. Patience and persistence are key in transforming challenging behaviors.
What difficult behaviors have I missed?
And what are your own strategies for handling difficult behaviors in your project teams?
Disclaimer
As an experiment, this article was created with the help of AI tools. I would see this as a collaborative effort between several AI tools and one HI agent; me.
Photos courtesy of Gratisography
